on school

This is a summation of my critiques against the American education system. I simply say "school", but I would like to make clear - when I mean "school", I am referring to the general model of mainstream, traditional public/private school that dominates the education system.

I love learning, and I hate school.

I really do love learning - in my spare time, I read articles and nonfiction books, I listen to history podcasts, I watch educational YouTube videos. I want to learn all that I can about the subjects I'm interested in -  currently, primarily history, politics, and leftism. I want to become as knowledgeable as possible. I am passionate. I am driven. I love learning.

And yet - school consistently fails to foster that love of learning; as they have for years - my entire life, really, regardless of whether the school was public or private.

I am going to speak about school in its pre-COVID sense, as virtual/hybrid school has diverted from the norm; and I sense that, post-vaccine, this depressing norm will, unfortunately, be returned to - uncritically and eagerly. 

What good is a school with arbitrary rules and meaningless assignments? 

There are countless examples of the above - even in the most liberal schools, a school must significantly divert from the standard mold to offer an institution that offers education unfettered by trivial rules.

Meaningless assignments are abundant - busywork, not made for genuine mental stimulation, or to prompt deep thought, but for the memorization of information at best - this done so that this memorization can be recited on tests, and then quickly discarded from thought, until the arrival of exams. And, at worst, meaningless assignments are crafted simply for the sake of giving mental occupation/distraction, or to add a grade to the gradebook - two things so depressingly pointless, the existence of such busywork should be considered a moral abomination. It is an outrageous waste of time and energy. 

Arbitrary rules dictate many of the injustices of school, but especially that classes hold midterms and finals.

What good are midterms and finals? I see no purpose in being forced to cram heaps of information into my head when I will undoubtedly forget it soon after. I remember little from my previous midterms and finals, my experience in regards to my health is far more prominent in my mind.  

In ninth grade, I studied so hard for midterms my physical health deteriorated. Prior to the pre-midterm week, I recall feeling tired during the weekend when I studied - so I blared loud music in my earbuds and turned my laptop's brightness all the way up, to prevent me from falling asleep while studying.

Furthermore, on top of midterms, I was in track and field at the time - during my most intense study sessions, I would get home at around 5-6pm and study until after 11pm. There were days during my studying sessions for my ninth grade midterm that I finished my studying for the night and I simply sat there, at the kitchen table, too physically exhausted to move, waiting until I could gather the energy required simply to walk upstairs and brush my teeth, and then go to bed - and repeat the process the next day. 

I became ill from this arduous, repeated process, and had to retake one of my midterms after the initial date. 

This is not all - I have been plagued with anxiety my entire adolescent life, and exams have done nothing but exacerbate this severely. In tenth grade, I vividly remember my panic attack prior to the English exam. Before my Spanish midterm that year, I became so anxious before the test I was unable to speak. Both of these came after I had studied for countless hours for my exams, working dutifully to memorize the content (and I memorized content to pass the tests, but I seldom truly learned.) 

In tenth grade, I spent several consecutive hours during midterm week either studying for the midterms or taking them - I studied before and between my midterms, barely daring to cease for any semblance of a break. 

By my French midterm at the end of the week, I was burned out and completely exhausted. But I could not put the midterm experience behind me - on our post-winter break return to school, my French teacher mandated that we go through our graded midterms, and fill out a painstakingly detailed six-page form about them. The school did not allow me to move past the horrors of exams; I was forced to relive some of the stress and anguish from midterms instead of simply being allowed to move on to the next unit, or take time to truly synthesize the past content.

I can remember all of this far more clearly than I can remember the content I was studying. Therefore, I cannot support the concept of midterms and finals. 

One can say that this is simply my fault, for being overzealous; yet schools encourage and breed this behavior by creating massive tests with small windows to study for them. Yes, one can study in advance for exams, but they must balance the weight of exams with the steady stream of tests, quizzes, assignments, and papers, so it is virtually impossible to get a significant head start on their studies - furthermore, the exams often include material taught near the very end of the semester - forcing one to delay their studies. Therefore, students spend at least a week in literal hell - with momentous pressure on their shoulders, they are being subtly or explicitly told that their entire work for the semester - for months of learning - for any given academic course is simply worth a test packet. The summation of months is a single test that carries enormous weight, and students are denigrated and risk losing opportunities if they are unable to perform well under this severe pressure. This is inhumane. 

This is not an environment of learning. This is why, despite my joy when learning, I hate school. Not only do I hate school for putting me through this; I hate school for putting my friends through this. 

My friends are the people I love most in the world, and seeing them think poorly about themselves because they cannot meet impossible, unreasonable academic standards not only distresses, but enrages me. A true institution of learning does not communicate to students that they are worth a letter grade; a true institution of learning fosters a student's natural curiosity without constantly measuring, evaluating, and essentially ranking them. Students should be free to learn without the shackles of nonstop competition. Natural curiosity is a beautiful thing; and school seeks to suppress it, to create a student body of academic clones. 

School brutalizes a creative spirit. Innocent nonconformity is frowned upon in most instances, and often penalized. There is a mold one must fit, an ideal model, and if one fails to meet that - both in their schoolwork and in their self - they face social consequences from students, and academic penalization from teachers. (When I mean this in a non-social context - I mean it not in regards to plagiarism - but in regards to papers, tests, assignments - when one must meet strict requirements or lose points, regardless of the work's genuine quality.) How can one learn when one must survive by following the rules, and ignore their creative, independent spirit, begging for a release?

Obedience is truly the most valued attribute at school - students who break any of the dizzying array of constructed rules risk subjugation to public humiliation and harsh punishment. I have had a teacher call me out in front of the entire class - over a dozen of my peers - for falling asleep, after I failed to get adequate sleep due to staying up late, finishing homework, as has been typical for me in high school. Moreover, my struggle with depression has led itself to almost unending exhaustion - and self-hatred, which the teacher further heightened with her action. 

Countless studies have demonstrated that a school that starts at 8am is harmful to teenagers - and yet, many schools do. Students regularly go to school exhausted, and are expected to work at top performance in subjects they often have little to no interest in. Their critique and defiance of this system is seen as individual laziness - it is easier to place the blame on a student who often misses class, or comes late, than to question the system that led them to do so.

What do I want for school? I want the abolition of letter grades and unending evaluation - this only breeds the pitting of students against each other. Endless competition is severely unhealthy - it leads to pointless divisions, academic elitism, and social ranking, when we should be promoting community and unity amongst all students. I want a school that allows students to further emphasize their interests - instead of dictating that they follow a given curriculum and set of academic requirements. 

Furthermore, I want a school that benefits neurodivergent, disabled, and mentally ill students - a school that rejects ableism in all form - I especially want a school that allows that neurodivergent, disabled, and mentally ill students to live without the need to hide their true selves and/or worsen their health for assimilation and academic success. All marginalized groups face persecution in the education system - but for neurodivergency, disability, and mental illness, this persecution is written into the very curriculum. The model of the American education system is deeply harmful to these students - it cannot be altered with mild reforms and accommodations. 

To achieve and promote individuality, liberty, community, creativity, happiness, and learning in students - there must be a radical upheaval. Otherwise, placating reforms will only continue to delude students with the hopes of achieving an academic experience that is not driven by suffering - but without radical change, that can only be a dream.